Even though it’s only November, it’s been feeling like the end of the year. Today is the 11th, which is free fishing day and I woke up determined to fish, only to realize it was too cold. It’s two months until the new year, and my resolution was to write six blog posts until then. It’s been five months since I last wrote. It’s also been one month since I accomplished a goal I had been trying for the whole time I was in SF. It’s been a year since I went coast to coast. Time seems to pass so slowly and quickly nowadays, one day you wake up and the day is over.
Ever since I started three years ago, my writing has gradually become more vague overtime. I’ve begun to realize I mostly don’t write about myself anymore, but rather about topics I’m interested in around me. It’s still a part of me I’m sharing of course, you just have to read between the lines to see.
These days, I’m fascinated by the Instagram photo dump. Images perfectly morse-coded into a message only a few can really pick up. I delight at poorly taken photographs: blurry, low contrast, and hard to understand. It’s in the non-obvious you can find meaning and tell a story. To tell a story from continual noticing is the truest I can be.
Although I’ve never read Alphabetical Diaries, it’s a continual noticing that feels familiar. The author arranges every sentence from ten years of journal entries in alphabetical order. Scrambled yet coherent, when you rearrange the every day there’s a new connective tissue that emerges. All this preface to say that I’m not here to write a deeper analysis on autofiction but rather present a list of items and thoughts that have passed through me the last few months. Perhaps then I can parse out a story. If you couldn’t tell, the satisfying conclusion has yet to emerge, and this is the most specific I can currently be.
A list of specifics:
Activities I’ve enjoyed
Chinatown Basketball Club - I’ve only been to one practice but it’s been really nice so far! The last time I played basketball was in high school with my friends who were much more serious about it than me and entertained my incessant fouls on occasion.
Catch and Release Fishing - one of my favorite artists mobblele fishes and lately I’ve seen a rise of co-opting the fish bro aesthetic. Aspirationally I wanted an excuse to sit by the water and feel the slowness of time. Realistically I underestimated the slowness of time (even slower because it might be too cold now), and I slightly worry about hurting the fish. That being said I have caught no fish (so far).
Working on my computer at Silence Please - an immersive soundscape, mostly quiet (depending when you go) cafe that plays the best ambient music.
Locking my phone in a box and Flight Simulator - M recommended the former, it’s a box that literally won’t reopen for the specified period of time. Flight simulator is an app where you go on “flights” (airplane mode). Lately I’ve felt slightly too wired to the internet at all times, so been experimenting ways to go offline. Let me know if you have any other recs!
Printing like Time is Never Running Out - I recently printed a fish zine. I designed it from 12-2am one night and printed it at 9am the next morning. The last year I acted like my projects were of utmost gravity that had to be Finished Immediately but it’s been nice to just do things with no deeper purpose. There’s enough time to do everything, serious and unserious.
Bike to Randall’s island in the summer. The best part was the ride around the water. Warning: getting a citi bike onto the bridge is Not Great
Art that I’m thinking about
Jiffy by Chris Kim a 130 page comic about a hotdog trying to find its way. The full pdf is available through Shortbox Comics Fair which just ended, but the preview on Twitter is Very Good and made me want to try writing fiction again.
Avocado Ibuprofen - I borrowed this comic anthology from L. It’s hard to describe the exact kind of comic this is - a mixture of crunched up images and verbose text that Hits Different. I have no idea how someone would find this work if not for the FYP; when I tried to query the vibe nothing came up. It’s inspired me to be looser and more experimental with my work.
Tehching Hsieh Life Works at the Dia Beacon - I will spare going into details, but the level of durational performance from Cage Piece to Thirteen Year Plan really made me think. I’d recommend looking him up on wikipedia, more on this later.
Mitski: The Land Movie - At the end she sang Washing Machine Heart and got off stage with a smile thanking her fans. A joyous concert!
Tuna Hake - I played this once at an event it was awesome. Fish Tony Hawk.
Notable life events
I left my wallet, airpods, and keys overnight in a chipotle. Last year I left it on a moving train. Thankfully I got both back. Less dire but still sad, I’ve lost my are.na hat and yellow shacket too. These I did not get back… there’s something to be said about being more present…
I moved to SF and then back to NY. I half-wrote a reflection on it, DM me if you want to read it (it’s a semi WIP)! I think I have talked about the similarities and differences between the cities many times now, and am still surprised that each time I reflect slightly differently.
Thinking about
Word and Image: Jenny Holzer, afffirmations, words on hats and shirts, that instagram video that is comic sans on a gradient background your friend keeps on dm-ing you…
Being known v. being true. Performance art in the digital age…
Collaborating! I am open to lightweight collaborations on experiments if we’re on similar wavelengths. I’ve done most things solo so far and want to exercise this muscle again (time dependent). More specifically, I am trying to understand coding more heuristically… will trade any design knowledge I have for some insights…
Have a great one! As always, feel free to reach out if anything is of interest.
Connie
PS It may appear that I’ve posted this from a different account. Basically my original substack account was attached to my old email that I made when I was eight (pandaninjaspy6676@gmail.com). In the process of transferring the publication I didn’t realize it wouldn’t move all my followers. Not that I post on Notes yet but anyways if you want to follow my new account it’s connie lol
Have you played fishdle
fishing !! in her stardew valley era !!
i wanna read ur sf reflection :') perhaps it will feel like a mirror
"Ever since I started three years ago, my writing has gradually become more vague overtime. I’ve begun to realize I mostly don’t write about myself anymore, but rather about topics I’m interested in around me. It’s still a part of me I’m sharing of course, you just have to read between the lines to see."
> i feel the same way .. i unintentionally create distance between my irl life and myself in the blog these days. but then again the things we find interesting are the things that make us!