When I started this I wanted to write weekly give or take, but then a week stretched into a month, and a month into three until it had become the last day of April. When the weather’s bad I want the day to end, but then when the day ends before you know it a new month has started.
Honestly the reason I procrastinated is because I’m bad at digital presence. The other day my friend said something along the lines of ‘are you going to write it in your newsletter?’ in a joking way but then it hit me the visceral-ness of the action that a literal email from this newsletter goes into people’s inboxes (? is that how substack works). Something’s scary about shouting into an audience I can’t really see, and maybe that’s why I only post on Snapchat (RIP). I want to be known but I don’t want to at the same time. Ever since middle school I thought it would be cool if I could become famous without my identity being revealed, but after 10 years of trying to do an art tumblr I gave up and told people to follow my handle. Even though more people were looking at my art, I still felt the same unfulfillment back when no one was.
I’ve subscribed to this semi popular writer on this app a few months ago, and at first I felt critical that she wrote in a purposefully vague way where it almost seemed like I was reading a story with no characters and no continuity. Kind of like a nice picture of how the light goes through the leaves of the trees. I didn’t know why people read it, but maybe I had got the whole digital presence thing wrong the whole time and things don’t have to make sense to be appreciated. I hope I was able to say what I wanted to without saying anything it at all.
Things I like! →
buttondown.email/formyths (an art newsletter that I love seeing updates from)
this field guide is amazing →
in other news I’m graduating in a month - it’s very spooky !!!